So. Everyone is in lovveeee.

Except me. Not literally i mean. I just happen to chance upon Rohaida's blog,this very very close girlfriend of mine. My bestie infact. Well, someone's getting engaged! Oh my goddd. And her sister's engagement is next week. Congratulations sweetheart! Wow. Anyway, im an avid reader of esqar's lj,and she's engaged too! considering the fact that everyone is my age and is happily engaged with the man they truly love and wanting to spent the rest of thier life with.! In addiition to those names mention above. So i saw Fadillah (a collegue) at the work pantry just now, and her ring was glittering and it caught my attention, so i was like, "Lawa cincin kaw." and then she said, "Ni Syukur yang blikan..untuk tande tande.." Im like oh.. That is soo fucking sweet. So whens the big day. and its 2 years from now. So i see, 2010 brings so many joy and dreams for all girls. I guess Fizah my best ex collegue should be getting engaged as well. Right?! Oh i see you smilling broadly there!! hahaha.


You know what, it will be of a lie, if i claim that im not at all pressured bout this. I guess every girl has their individual goal in life. As for me, my goal is to get wed, before i turn 25. But at this point of time, i dont really know where i'm at. Hopefully, one fine day everything will fall to place as perfeectly as it should be when i least expact things to happen. As for now, i thank god for giving me directions and leading me to where i am today. and im pretty contented with life. Just dont ask me when's my turn. haha.

On a lighter note, before i end this entry, i just wana convey this message to those girls getting wed and engaged, that im very happy for all of you and here i am wishing each and everyone of you a merry life ahead and may your paths are brigther and may god bless you in everything you do. Love; NurFatinAjman

2010! Again another year. Wow. Twozerozeronine will be the year that i will always remember. Remember for life. A year that was filled with so much heartfelt moments. 09 the year that i started having CPF's. The year that i became single and attached at the very same time. The year that i lost someone whom i build relationship for so many many many years that i never thought it ended. And then i celebrated it for 4 good months of singlehood and somewhere along that part of life, i embraced the dating game. And i dated so many good men, well "good" is not quite a good term to use,very vague. But whatever it is, some of them made me become so much stronger. I learnt that some men, only text at night. haha. Some, believes in friendship more than relationship, some men believe in girls like they believe in god. Some men have "spares" to kill boredom perhaps cause their woman cant fufill their forever-ever going boredom.

And then i got attached to this very nice 23 yr old chap, by the name of Qamarul Arifin. The guy i met in St James. He always tell me we didnt meet in club, we met at Vivo. The day when Singapore was on blackout. 28march 09. Haha. Anyway, being with him is everything wonderful but the people around him is not as good as they seem. Perhaps this was quite a downfall for us at that point of time. And ya, he too claims, that sometimes they are a real bitch. and i truly sees that as i grow in the relationship. I learnt that girls are just as a bad. I learnt that some attached girls are so fucking miang that they love touching other poeple's boyfriend or just ramdom guys. They simply got no respect for themselves and others. They dont have morals of a girl i guess or that their parents dont teach them well enough. I think they learnt that bitching about other is the best thing to do. And Hypocrisy is their middle name. Simply 2 faced. Well, i just wana see how far this people can go. And then i learnt that, not every girls think like the way i do. Some of them have skin so thick, thicker than a hippo and they can literally ask someone's else boyfriend for cash. Amazing huh, girls nowadays. And recently, i learnt that some girls are alright with their boyfriend having another women. Maybe because they have such low self esteem. Women.

Mum always tell me that sometimes, you dont have problem with the friends, but you have problems with your partner. When you have no problems with the man itself, you have problems with the people around him for instance the friends. And now that i see it, i believe so. But im glad my boyfriend sees where all this is coming from and doesnt need this type of people in our life.

Let jus all toast to a new life. Here i am complaining how fast the year flies. Lets toast to the strt of new year with hopefuls of a better road ahead. I hope, i will do good to people always. Cause i dont want karma to start farting on my face. If i were to jot my 2010 resolutions, they'll make a 200-paged story book. So i guess i jus highlight a few. A few to remind myself of what life is at the end of the day. I hope and vow to be a better girlfriend. I know im complicated and very hard to please. Ask Qamarul, he will definitely nods his head with you. But i guess its alright to be complicated its not a shame. And if you think you're a girl who is not complicated, you dont own a medal either. get what i mean. I believe sometimes when im angry i got every right to get angry but that doesnt permits me to be cruel. It always part of a relationship that nothing is ever enough. And forever not contented. But sometimes, well many of the times, i find that we always have good times when being with each other's arms. So i just hope 2010, will bring me and QA to a much greater heights.

On another note, i wana get my license over and done with. Sometimes i wonder the nyonya opposite my block can drive a car and why i suck at it big time. haha. Maybe i will make my way to university after my mendaki loan and after my bond. 09 has been a good and bad year. I guess every year is a collective trunk of stupidity, emotionals overwhelming the power of brain, foolishness but we'll grow out of it. 2010, is the year we learnt to move and be someone better from all this set backs. I guess i just wana be more independent both financially and emotionally. I dont wana rely on anyone and can fully depend on myself. I dont need to prove anything to anyone as about now, so i guess whats important is knowing my priorities and filtering the good from the bad. Lastly i have to remind myself that no matter what happens along the way, how broken my heart is gonna be one fne day, i got to move on and continue with life and its offerings cause apparently the world doesnt stops to listen to my griefs. With this,

Here i am wishing every human race a happy 2010.